Pastors may not know all you need to know about the training,
care, and requirements of the spiritual directors of the Alabama-West Florida
Conference. Here are five facts I think you should know.
We are educated for this ministry. See Ethics and Education of Spiritual Directors. By the way, many pastors attend these training programs and become spiritual directors. They find it gives them a new and helpful lens through which to work with their congregations and staff.
We are usually contemplative. While pastors vary in temperament-from the jolly extrovert to the pensive thinker types-most spiritual directors are gentle, quiet, and contemplative. The practice of spiritual direction demands patience and stillness of heart. We spend most of our time listening to our directees share their sacred stories. Good spiritual directors always listen more than they talk. Because of our contemplative nature, we are good at helping anxious pastors and churches calm down and savor the slow work of God. If you have a spiritual director in your church, I hope they are being used to help with pastoral care, education, worship, and showing up as that “non-anxious presence” in times of conflict.
We want to have a collegial relationship with our pastors. Spiritual directors suffer when we live and work in isolation. We need contact with you for fellowship and camaraderie. We can offer you a listening ear when you need to share about a confidential matter (even if you are not one of our directees—we usually don’t mind informally putting on the director hat for you now and then). We are especially aware of issues of boundaries in ministry. Because the spiritual direction relationship is unique and highly confidential, we are usually pretty strict about boundaries. Many pastors have appreciated bouncing ideas concerning the personal limits they set with parishioners off of us. And we’re glad to help.
We sometimes need your help. Since many of us are introverts and contemplatives, we are not great at marketing ourselves and or our work. If you respect our work, then please talk about it with your clergy friends, parishioners, and staff. Encourage us to contribute to your newsletter, offer classes or show up to a business meeting to observe and reflect on what we notice.
Another way you can help us is by understanding the nature of our work. Spiritual direction sessions can be draining and directors need time to “recharge” with God. So, if we don’t take you up on helping out, it’s because spiritual direction work can be taxing. We are taught to know our limits and not to become overwhelmed, so we guard our work time.
The best way to help a spiritual director you like and trust is by finding out if they are taking on new directees and if they want referrals from you. Let us drop off a set of brochures or business cards with our contact information so that when you encounter someone who wants or needs spiritual direction, you can offer them a name.
We want to be your spiritual director. Provided we are not working with you or are close friends with you or your family. Religious professionals make up a lot of our clientele and they tell us it’s the best $50 they spend. We know your special needs. We have a great deal of compassion for pastors. If you are not in spiritual direction, I highly recommend it. The history of spiritual direction dates back over 1500 years.
adapted from an article by Teresa Blythe